Matthew 5:34-37 says, “But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” This small section in Matthew seems to be emphasizing the importance of using words well. It reminds me of a lesson I learned early in my career.
I spent 25 years working in various capacities in commercial real estate. For 14 of those years I worked with several other colleagues advising foreign institutions on their acquisitions and dispositions of office properties. During a particular meeting with one of our clients at the beginning of my time advising these clients, the man in charge of things for the client was unusually restless as we delivered our analysis and opinions regarding an office building that we recommended for purchase. I was in the middle of explaining our reasoning as to why they should buy this particular building when this man interrupted me. He stared at me and said, “Do you think we should buy this building?” I said, “Yes, I think it’s a good building – it makes sense to buy it.” He said, “But why do you think we should buy it.” I started to explain different features in the cash flow projections that we had put together. I talked about different things regarding the location relative to what I thought the purchase price should be. I spoke about the tenants in the building and their strength in terms of creditworthiness. Finally, in frustration, the man slammed his hand down on the conference room table and yelled “But if it was YOUR money, would YOU spend $100 million dollars on this building at this corner?” He stared directly at me, almost boring a hole right through me.
I paused and swallowed hard. I had been talking in abstract terms, almost in a detached way. I wasn’t communicating how invested in this situation I was with him. His slamming the conference room table jolted me into awareness. The words I was using felt empty to him. I didn’t really show that I too had skin in the game beyond the time I put into analyzing the building for purchase. By concentrating so intently on the data and analysis, I had failed to make clear that I was truly bringing my whole self in what I was doing that day.
I think in all situations, our words need to reflect our very being. They should capture our whole selves. To do that, they must be chosen well. And in most situations, less is better than more.
Todd Rivetti 